Behavior modification tools and techniques for children

 Some parents, caregivers and teachers are lucky when they have a tame, calm child to nurture into a healthy, productive adult.  It makes their life and job much easier with a kid that goes along with what they are told the first time.  Meanwhile others have more of a challenge with a strong willed, hyper active or even lackadaisical little person.  Most children at some point in their development into young adulthood begin to test their limits. That is when certain techniques and tools come in handy to have at your disposal.  There are many chart and incentive facilitators to put into play with any child starting at the age of about 2 yrs. old, based on their individual capabilities of understanding general reasoning.  For example if your 2 yr. old is capable of knowing that if they hit or bite someone they will get a timeout, then some of these tools I am going to explain will work for you.

1-2-3 Magic sounds funny when you first hear the title but I'm sure it is something you have already tried but have not been completely consistent with. If you are not familiar with this technique it is one where you count off warnings to your child. For example, if the child refuses to clean his room after you have asked, you would give him one warning. "One". If they still refuse, give another. "Two", and then when they insist on being stubborn "Three". This means they have reached their consequence which can be a timeout, loss of privilege, adding another chore, taking away a favorite toy until the job is done etc. Make sure you make it clear to your child what the consequence will be before you begin your countdown. This will ensure a greater success rate. For instance, "Tommy, if I count to three and you are not beginning to pick up your room, there will be no playing outside with the neighborhood kids today." This explains what you expect of them and what they will be losing if they disobey. Make sure you follow through if and when they decide not to follow directions. This way when another situation occurs that you must negotiate appropriate behavior, they will be more likely to follow through, knowing that you mean what you say. There are various books written by Thomas Phelan on this subject and it's wide range of use for both parents and teachers. He lays out strategies and steps similar to the one I explained above, in a bit more detail with different settings.

Another great tool to use, especially in the classroom or for homework is to time you child. This may seem like a demanding strategy but it is actually a fun game for them to make work more like play. First buy a cute colorful timer or you can just use your plain old kitchen timer and depending on the task and how long it may take on average, estimate a good time for them to complete a given task. For example, "Okay, you have two minutes to finish the first two math problems, ready, set, go!" This may give them some extra motivation and excitement to get their work done. On the other hand if you have a very nervous or anxious child this is not the the technique for them. In that case breaking their task down in small steps and giving adequate encouragement at each accomplishment would be best. But for the average kids, they enjoy being timed and competing against themselves. This will get the work done and prove to themselves that they are capable of independent working habits.

Positive and negative reinforcement are the adding or subtracting of a certain object or desire based on good behavior. When giving a child a reward such as a piece of candy for cleaning up after dinner, this is positive reinforcement. Taking away or removing something, such as a lock on the snack cabinet for good behavior, is negative reinforcement.

Punishment, on the other hand is done when a bad or undesirable behavior has occurred. For example if a child refuses to help set the table they will be given a timeout for not following directions. This is an example of positive punishment. The "enforcer", the parent or teacher, is adding something that is undesirable. Meanwhile, Negative punishment would be to remove something they desire, such as a treat or play date with friends.  B.F. Skinner was a great psychologist that researched behaviorism aspects such as these.

Behavior charts are another great tool to use when teaching children how to follow directions. A chart can be made for almost any subject such as homework, bedtime, clean up, chores, dinner manners and general daily charts that are broken up by breakfast, playtime, lunchtime etc. All of which help you enforce the rules and help them follow and understand them. These charts can be posted in a bedroom, classroom walls, doors and even on the refrigerator. Various consequences and rewards can be established based on the child and subject of chart. This may seem too structured but if there is one thing that seems to be of greater difficulty in the house or classroom, it is a good tool to put into use.

There are many ways of using a chart system. One example is posted below and another may be more organic or creative. For example the letters of your child's name could be made into big bubble letters and posted on a wall or door. The child can pick as stamp or sticker of choice to fill each letter with when the desired behavior has occurred. In other words, when you child follows the direction and acts as you expect for a certain behavior you are working towards their reward is to stamp or paste a sticker on the desired letter. This can be done until all of the letters are filled. By this time the routine is efficient enough that no chart is needed and you and your child hold a sense of accomplishment with newly decorated letters!

Hopefully this information is helpful.  Having a challenging child can be difficult.  I speak from experience.  My daughter has her moments where she can be quite a hand full and I have worked with children ages 0-19 with normal and abnormal behavior patterns.  Keep in mind even the smallest amount of progress is a success.  Also pick your battles.  Focus on what is most important as far as manners and correct behavior is concerned.  Otherwise you and your child will wear even more on one another.  Good luck!